By definition, it is the pervasive thought that you aren’t worthy of your title and accolades. By all accounts, the name of the syndrome is self-explanatory.

For me, it has been a bit different.

I definitely never felt as though I didn’t deserve my MD. I worked really hard for it, and I definitely feel as though I am deserving of the title. I am so proud of that accomplishment.

For me, it felt more like I just didn’t belong or wasn’t good enough. When compared to my peers, I felt as though I just didn’t cut it. The feeling still creeps up sometimes.

I have done a lot of work on myself, and it has taken me YEARS to reach a point where I can honestly marvel at my peers and acknowledge their excellence without immediately feeling inadequate.

When a colleague of mine shines now, I think, “Man, they are smart. I could learn a thing or two here”… and then I do.

Let me take you back to when I wouldn’t do that.

In the past, in the same situation, I would simply think, “Man, they are smart. I am so stupid. I shouldn’t even be practicing medicine. I will never be that good. I will never be good enough.”

Let me also take a minute to add here that, so far, their haven’t been any occurrences that would suggest I am not a good physician. No one has pulled me aside to tell me anything that would suggest that. In the past, I would simply think everyone is just being polite. I know the truth, and the truth in my eyes wasn’t pretty.

That thought pattern was exhausting. Not to mention completely useless and untrue.

The limiting beliefs that I had about myself were monumental.

Now that I have learned to see this thought pattern as pathological, I can stop it in its tracks. It doesn’t serve me, and if I continue to keep thinking that way, I would not grow.

I remember thinking to myself that if I ever learn how to feel better about myself, I will teach it to everyone and anyone that wants to hear me out.

You are not alone. We all feel like a ding dong sometimes, but if this is a pervasive thought pattern of yours, please reach out. I can walk with you to the other side.

Maria